


Made With Love

by NinjetteTwitch



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28252296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinjetteTwitch/pseuds/NinjetteTwitch
Summary: He tried not to let it bother him, place his focus on the things that mattered, but if he wasn't careful, the occasional errant thought caught him off guard. Maybe if he'd had someone to celebrate it with...Written for my giftee and friend, Nari20, for the Sailor Moon Holiday Gift Exchange 2020!
Relationships: Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12
Collections: 2020 Sailor Moon Holiday Gift Exchange





	Made With Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nari20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nari20/gifts).



A/N: Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Holidays to all of you!!!! Whatever holiday you are celebrating right now, I hope you are doing it safely and having a lovely time!!

I wrote this for the Holiday Gift Exchange on tumblr. Go check it out for links to more stories written by incredible writers!!! This gift was written for my dear friend Nari20. I tried so hard to get this whole story finished in time and because of health issues and personal crap, I just wasn’t able to. I’m so sorry, Nari! But the second half will be coming soon, I promise!

I tried to get at least 3 of your 5 prompts in one story. I hope I was able to create something you like! And you said you love angst, which admittedly I am not the best at. So I brought in some backup to help; Beej88 and Rei0ki! They both helped me angst this story up for you since that’s what you like and I wanted this to be perfect! I really really hope you like it!! Please everyone go visit nari20 on tumblr and check out her AMAZING art. She’s one of the best artists I’ve ever seen and you will NOT be disappointed in what you find scrolling through her tumblr. Read this story! Then go look!

Thank you to Rei0ki for your help with this fic!! And as always, thank you to me bestie, Beej88, who betaed even when she had her own personal stuff going on. You guys are the best!

oOo

Mamoru sat at the counter in his usual seat, throat slightly scorched from the big sip of coffee he’d just taken. He couldn’t help but sigh as the sound of Christmas music playing overhead intermingled with the high-pitched tones of excitement as everyone seemed to be talking about their plans over the holidays and the gifts they intended to give their loved ones. 

Mamoru frowned, shifting with annoyance in his seat, his fingers involuntarily tightening around his coffee cup. It was that time of year again. The Crown was decorated with mistletoe, gaudy garland, and an overly bright Christmas tree that seemed to take up way too much space, despite being pushed into the corner. The whole town was ready for a happy holiday.

_Happy._

Mamoru had never really found this time of the year particularly _happy_. Not like everyone else did, anyway. While he didn’t oppose the holiday itself, admittedly, his mood regarding it had increasingly soured over the years, and he did tend to get a little more broody than usual. Especially as this particular time of year managed to highlight that while everyone else had family and friends to celebrate this joyous time with, he was alone, just an observer on the outside looking in as everyone else enjoyed the “magic” that came hand in hand with Christmas. 

He tried not to let it bother him, place his focus on the things that mattered, but if he wasn't careful, the occasional errant thought caught him off guard. Maybe if he’d had someone to celebrate it with...

The regular chime of the front door had been exchanged for jingle bells, and they rang out, signaling that someone else had entered his safe haven, which was becoming less and less of a safe haven with every decoration Unazuki cheerfully put up. Mamoru automatically glanced over his shoulder, his frown deepening. 

It was Usagi wearing a _ridiculous_ Christmas sweater of Santa riding a unicorn in space. He fought the urge to roll his eyes, pulling his gaze away. If anyone symbolized the loud, overtly bright spirit of Christmas, it was definitely Tsukino Usagi. She was like a hurricane of gifts, giggles, and that over the top holiday energy that embodied every Hallmark special ever. This wouldn’t be the first Christmas that he’d watch her twirl through the Crown, pulling everyone within her vicinity into an orbit of cookie-coated smiles and Christmas related squeals of excitement. 

Mamoru swallowed, pressing his lips together tightly as he scowled down at his coffee, inwardly convincing himself that he was annoyed by this. What did a unicorn and space have to do with Christmas, _anyway?_ He sighed, his scowl fading as he sipped his coffee, and furtively watched from his peripherals as she made her way towards him. Despite himself, his irritation lessened as he noted that even in such a ridiculous sweater, she was still the most adorable thing he’d ever seen.

She plopped down in the seat next to him, blonde ribbons of hair whipping around her shoulders, grazing the side of his arm as she settled beside him. “What up, baka?” she chirped. “Where are your books today? Don’t tell me something tragic happened to them?” She gasped dramatically, hands flying to her mouth. “Oh no, Mamoru! Did you lose them? Did you drop them in the snow? _I know._ You spilled coffee on them, didn’t you? That’s what happened, wasn’t it?” 

Her eyes sparkled with amusement, and the corner of his mouth twitched as he fought back the urge to smirk. “What are you wearing, Odango?” he drawled instead, eyeing her Christmas attire with a raised brow. “That’s the dumbest sweater I’ve ever seen.”

“What?” Her face fell, the amusement fading as she glanced down at her sweater and back up at him, her brow furrowed with annoyance. “This is totally adorable, baka!” she huffed indignantly with a defiant upward tilt of her chin. “ _You_ just have no sense of fashion, which is insanely obvious. I mean, you _still_ wear that God awful green jacket.”

He rolled his eyes. “Santa and a unicorn in space?” he replied dismissively, his tone a little harsher than he intended. “It makes absolutely no sense. What do Santa, a unicorn, and space have to do with each other? And how does it have _anything_ to do with Christmas?” 

She scowled, her nose crinkled up in that adorable way that sometimes caught him off guard as she sighed with disappointment. “Way to _kill_ the Christmas spirit,” she scoffed, practically under her breath. “It’s just a fun sweater. It doesn’t have to make sense. You’re the only one making a big deal out of it.”

He’d known Usagi for a long time. He’d spent hours playing this game with her. That is how he knew, based on the curved slump in her shoulders and the downward dip of her lips, that he was about to reach that line. The one in which he was going to push the limit from teasing banter to borderline mean. Typically he would have reigned it in, and maybe it was the underlying irritation with Christmas or that he liked the way her cheeks flushed when she got riled up, but this time he couldn’t help but smirk, raising his eyebrow condescendingly. 

“I’m not making a big deal out of it. I’m just pointing out how ridiculous it looks,” he drawled. “Where the hell are you even going to wear that?” 

She stiffened, eyes widening angrily. “Not that it’s any of your _business_ , but my friends and I have plans to go Christmas shopping,” she spat, her tone tinged with anger. “The same friends who also happen to _love_ my sweater!”

Mamoru scoffed, turning back towards the counter with a practiced shrug as he took another sip of his coffee. “If you say so, Odango.” 

She gasped, and Mamoru froze, his smirk fading as the bright red blush he’d been purposely trying to elicit seemed to burn red with anger rather than her usual mild annoyance. 

“I _have_ friends!” she snapped, her lower lip quivering with anger.

He blinked, and it took a moment for her retort to register. He inhaled sharply, eyes widening with understanding because that’s not what he’d meant. She’d _misunderstood._

“No, Odango, I didn’t mean-”

“Just because I have friends and family to spend Christmas time with doesn’t mean you have to be an ass about it!”

He was momentarily stunned, the words cutting deeper than she’d probably meant them to, and usually, he would have been able to disregard them with a scathing response, but he didn’t get a chance to get a word in as Usagi, clearly on the warpath, angrily continued. 

“I mean, who are _you_ to talk?!” she emphasized. “Where are the people _you_ spend time with? Because I never see _you_ with anyone!”

It shouldn’t have affected him so profoundly. Usagi couldn’t have possibly known just how much those words would have struck such a painfully poignant chord inside of him, especially at this time of year. He would have liked to casually dismiss her comment, smirk, and masterfully showcase that he didn’t care, that it didn’t bother him. But, _damn_ , it really, really did.

He couldn’t help but feel like he’d been struck. His breath caught in his throat and time seemed to slow. He exhaled slowly, swallowing hard, unable to meet her eyes. 

All he knew at that moment was that the walls were closing in and he needed to get the hell out of here. 

Mamoru abruptly stood from the counter, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He could feel Usagi’s eyes on him, but he wasn’t sure what would happen if he met her gaze. He was overwhelmed and out of his depth. 

So instead, he fished some yen from his wallet and threw it down onto the counter. All he could hear was the buzzing in his ears as he pulled his jacket from the back of the chair and slipped it on. 

“Mamoru…” Usagi started softly. 

He didn’t even pause. He just turned on his heels and made for the door. 

oOo

Usagi stood stock still, frozen in place, stunned, her eyes saucer-wide in dismay and glued to the door where Mamoru had unceremoniously just exited. 

She blinked, thoroughly confused. She’d teased him about not having any friends before, hadn’t she? He’d never gotten _this_ upset before. She swallowed, gnawing on her bottom lip remorsefully. They always teased each other, didn’t they? She was positive that they’d both argued and said much worse to each other, and she raked over the past several moments to determine what had just happened. She’d said much worse to him. She was _sure_ of it. 

So why did the panic rise in her throat when he’d stood to leave without fighting back? Why had the blood drained from his face in a way that it never had before? Why had he looked at her like… like she’d hurt him? 

She hadn’t been able to stop him, regretfully managing only his name that he’d ignored as he’d slipped on his jacket, walking out without so much as a backward glance, a parting retort, or at the very least a signature smirk. She’d watched until he’d disappeared from view, feeling deeply unnerved before slowly turning back towards the counter.

She started, pulled from her thoughts when her gaze focused on Motoki and the reproachful expression on his face registered. Motoki was typically pretty carefree, so she was surprised when his eyes narrowed, and he shook his head as if she’d greatly disappointed him. 

“Little harsh, don’t you think?”

Usagi sucked in a sharp breath, the heat of an embarrassed blush fanning across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose. Had she been harsh? 

The look on Mamoru’s face before he’d left had tugged at her heartstrings in a way that made it almost hard to breathe, but she wasn’t used to being scolded by Motoki, and it was probably because she already felt guilty, but she couldn’t help but feel a _little_ defensive. He was the one that had been out of line… wasn’t he?

“What?” she snapped, her tone raising an octave involuntarily. “ _He’s_ the one who implied I had no friends!”

Motoki pressed his lips together; his expression pained as he quietly regarded her for a moment. Usagi shifted uncomfortably under the intensity of his stare. It felt like forever before the tension eased from his shoulders and Motoki sighed sadly, carding his hand through his hair. 

“Usagi...” he began tentatively, trailing off as if he were struggling with what he was going to say. “I don’t think that’s what he was implying at all. Think about it. We all know you have a lot of friends.”

Usagi frowned, her heart skipping a beat with regret because if she _really_ thought about it, if she replayed the conversation back in her head, deep down, she knew that Motoki was right. Admittedly, she’d been overly sensitive. She _liked_ her sweater and while it _shouldn’t_ have; it bothered her that Mamoru thought she looked ridiculous.

She inhaled sharply, his exact words replaying in her head, and she cringed, her eyes sliding shut, her cheeks burning with shame when she realized exactly what Mamoru had been implying at that moment. 

“Oh,” she breathed softly, her stomach churning with guilt. “I don’t understand, Motoki. Why did he get so upset?” 

And there was no denying that Mamoru had left the Crown upset. Usagi didn’t think she’d ever seen him react that way to anything she’d said before, and she was _sure_ that she’d insulted him far worse. 

Motoki hesitated, shaking his head. “You don’t get it, Usagi.” He paused, snapped his mouth shut, then opened it again before exhaling loudly with frustration. “Forget it.”

He averted his gaze, busying himself with wiping down the counter though Usagi noted that his movements were abrupt, angry. She frowned, heart skipping a beat because she was definitely missing something. It was important, and it had clearly hurt Mamoru. She wanted to know why. 

Her eyes narrowed with determination, “What is it, Motoki?” 

He stopped pretending to wipe the counter, lifting his gaze to meet hers. He opened his mouth, barely uttering a syllable, before snapping it shut again with a mournful sigh. “Look, Usagi…” he started, struggling to form the right words. “Mamoru doesn’t have a lot of people in his life…” 

He trailed off, and Usagi nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue, but Motoki shook his head, his expression pained. “It’s not my place, Usagi. I know it might seem like nothing fazes Mamoru...he’s a jerk sometimes, I get it.” He leaned forward, palms pressed flat on the counter as he leveled her with a sobering stare. “But you have to understand that you weren’t wrong when you said that he didn’t have anyone to spend Christmas with. He _doesn’t._ ”

Usagi’s heart stopped, and her breath hitched, caught around the lump of emotion lodged in her throat. Swallowing hard, blinking back the unbidden tears that pricked at the corner of her eyes, Usagi’s gaze was filled with remorse. 

“What about his family, ‘Toki? His parents?” 

Motoki didn’t answer, but the sharp and sad look in his eyes was answer enough. 

Her mind began to race as she frantically flipped through all her memories of him. Had he ever even mentioned a family member? Had there ever been annoying, but well-meaning phone calls from his parents? Or complaints about siblings driving him crazy? 

She came up empty. 

She couldn’t think of a single time anyone — even aunt or uncle, cousin, or even good family-friend — was ever mentioned. 

That bothered her on a level so deep she couldn’t explain it. Her family and friends meant everything to her; she couldn’t fathom not having these connections in her life. 

“Motoki,” she rasped, treading carefully. “Why doesn’t Mamoru have a family?” 

Motoki only shook his head again, his expression filled with sorrow. “It’s not my story to tell, Usagi, but I just want you to know that Mamoru hasn’t had it easy. It was tough for him, growing up alone, and I know he would never admit it, but this time of year is especially hard on him.”

Usagi felt like she was paralyzed by the revelation. How could Mamoru, baka extraordinaire — with his sarcastic smirks, his caustic, witty retorts, with his hardened nobody-can-hurt-me attitude — not have someone to share Christmas with? Sure, she liked to argue with him, and she had no issue pointing out the atrocity that was his purple-pleated pants. But even though he was sort of her nemesis, Mamoru meant a great deal to her. And _nobody_ deserved to spend Christmas alone.

Usagi took a deep, steadying breath, blinking back tears. “I really didn’t mean it, Motoki,” she rasped with regret because she needed him to know. “I had no idea.”

Motoki exhaled slowly, clearly relieved that she’d understood. “I know, Usagi,” he reassured. “I didn’t really think you did. I just wanted you to know that despite everything, I’m pretty sure that Mamoru looks forward to talking to you. Even if all you guys ever do is argue.” He smiled, his gentle, carefree demeanor back in place as the intensity of the moment waned. “Though, I’m pretty sure he would deny it quite adamantly, if you asked.” 

Usagi smiled in agreement, though it felt forced. Her comments had been harsh, and in light of what she’d learned, they’d been downright cruel, too. She didn’t feel guilty just because of that, though. She felt guilty because Motoki’s words had made her realize that she looked forward to talking to Mamoru, too. 

She barely remembered saying goodbye to Motoki and her friends as her resolve strengthened, her mind racing, as she flew from the arcade and into the snow flurries outside in a blurred rush. 

It was crazy, and she wished that she’d realized this earlier, but she considered Mamoru her friend, and it was suddenly extremely vital that he knew that. 

Her steps were hurried as she dodged pedestrian traffic as she made her way home. She had to figure out a way to make up for this. She just had to.

oOo

The silence that greeted Mamoru in the darkness of his apartment had never been quite as pronounced as it was after his altercation with Usagi, in which, for the first time, he hadn’t enjoyed their usual banter. After putting some distance between himself and the arcade, the sting of her words had faded, and he felt deflated, annoyed that he’d let it get to him. 

He sighed, shoulders slumped with resignation as he forced himself over the threshold, the door clicking shut behind him, the sound echoing in the hollowness of his apartment and the cavity of his chest. His movements were automatic, routine, as he slid off his jacket and shoes, not bothering to flick on the lights as he moved through the darkness and collapsed onto his sofa with a miserable exhale of breath. 

Taupe-colored drapes only partially covered his balcony doors, and slivers of light from the Tokyo skyline slipped through the opening, neon flickers from city life bouncing off of his ceiling and the darkened outline of strategically placed furniture. 

He let his head fall back, scowling up at his ceiling as he allowed himself one more moment to wallow in misery. This wasn’t the only Christmas that he was going to spend alone. He’d had a lifetime of practice, in fact, so he was disconcerted by the intensity of his reaction to Usagi’s words. 

Of course, when he thought about it, his scowling gaze fixed in contemplation on the lights dancing across his ceiling, he didn’t really have to wonder why he’d reacted that way for long. Usagi’s face materialized in his mind, and it wasn’t hard to imagine her arguing with him —expression indignant, cheek’s dusted pink with an angry blush, eyes flashing fire— but he could also see her with her friends, too. Bright-eyed, laughing so ridiculously loud, gracing everyone she encountered with a whirlwind of energy. 

Cursing under his breath, Mamoru sat up abruptly, raking his hand over his face in frustration. What the hell was wrong with him, anyway? He _liked_ his solitude. Why should it bother him that he didn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with? It’s not like he wanted to be stuck in her orbit. How exhausting would it be to have her drag him to Christmas parties, festivals, and overcrowded events like she did with all of her friends? It’s not like he would enjoy having her chattering around him constantly, or laughing, or smiling at him...

Sighing, he leaned forward, shifting his gaze onto the only decoration in his apartment. It was quite pathetic looking, actually. Just a tiny tabletop Christmas tree that had seen better days with its crooked artificial branches, small, faded ornaments, and lights that barely lit up. On a whim, he’d pulled it out of a box of things relinquished to him by parents whose faces he couldn’t recall though he’d spent hours staring at his only picture of them. 

Swallowing around the unbidden lump of emotion that suddenly lodged itself in his throat, he leaned forward and pressed the switch at the base. The fluorescent bulbs flickered for a moment as if gasping for breath before it lit up, and the lights, no matter how dim, reflected off the surface of his coffee table. 

His thoughts settled on Usagi again as he let his fingers glide over one of the only intact ornaments on the tree, a small glass rose that he thought might have belonged to his mother. He couldn’t remember anything about his parents, but he imagined that his mother would probably like someone like Usagi. 

The thought startled him out of his melancholy, and with an annoyed exhale and an almost angry jab of his finger, he flicked off the Christmas tree lights. He vowed not to dwell on this any longer as he stood, pulled the drapes shut, and let the darkness of his apartment surround him. 

oOo

A/N: Okay, so this is the first half. The second half will come soon, I promise. I hope you like this so far, Nari!!  
Reviews are love, guys! Especially this time of year.  
Merry Christmas, everyone!!


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